This morning did NOT go well. Maybe we did too much yesterday, maybe he doesn’t feel well (everyone in the house seems to have some kind of illness, ranging from a cold to weird intestinal stuff) or maybe he just wants some boob. Whatever the reason, he woke up with his usual refrain this morning and while he did go back to sleep once, the second time he was accepting no substitutes. The next half hour or so could only be described as “the day Mommy and Daddy went deaf”. I was finally able to talk him into having some toast to eat and then we were able to start our morning.
When I opened the door to see what the temperature was like, I was shocked to discover it was like a nice summer day! I decided a picnic at the park sounded like a great idea, but then trouble set in. This “trouble” really has nothing to do with nursing (or lack of), but I’d be remiss to leave it out of the description of our day. C has been…what’s the nice word….high spirited? lively? A few other words come to mind, but I want to keep this post as G-rated as possible. Basically, the kid has one volume ~ LOUD. Even when he’s asleep. If he talks in his sleep (which he sometimes does), it’s LOUD. If he wakes up wanting something, it’s LOUD. From morning until night, LOUD, LOUD, LOUD. Now, we *are* a loud family and I *am* a loud person. I admit this. However, dealing with a loud child all. day. long. gets, well, long. And tiring. Many days, I feel as though I’m walking on eggshells, trying to avoid a fit. When I somehow forget to read his mind, he screams. When he wants to do something himself, he screams. Those pears we bought yesterday and ate? He wants one and he WANTS IT NOW! Today was just one of those days where it seems like all I did was cajole, beg, plead, yell, restrain…you get the idea. If you’ve never tried to wrestle an angry three-year-old, throwing a giant fit because he wanted candy in the store, into the car seat, you are missing out! It’s an olympic workout and that doesn’t even take into consideration the adrenaline from embarrassment.
Now, Iknow that toddlers throw fits and that is just part of their learning. It’s my job to help him navigate these choppy waters and who gives a fig what other people passing by think, right? That’s easier said than done. Each yell and kick feels like a personal assault on my parenting and there are times it is all I can do not to just shake the living daylights out of him. Do I love him? Absolutely! Do I like him? Some days, not very much.
On a positive note, he did remember our calming down technique from yesterday and requested more than once today when he was upset. I cling to these tiny victories while the storm of his emotions flings us all over the place. Thank goodness for those moments.
So, as our day winds to a close, I see progress on many fronts: we’re communicating well with each other (mostly), he’s utilizing tools I’m offering, I’m regaining patience and remembering that he is only a toddler with very little experience yet on this earth. Hopefully, tomorrow goes better!
