During pregnancy, the changes your body endures are unparalleled. Your breasts increase in size and begin to produce colostrum, your blood volume increases, and you will produce more estrogen than any other time in your life.
It goes without saying that during the postpartum period, your body must go through more extreme changes to adjust to life with an infant. If you are breastfeeding, you will adjust to the physical demands of nursing around the clock. You may have also had a difficult birth that has left you with a long recovery. Also, some mothers may experience PPD and need to seek treatment from a medical professional. You may feel overwhelmed and exhausted and wonder when things will begin to feel normal again. Sex might be the very last thing on your mind.
The thought of sex after baby can be a very real fear for some mothers. Creating an open dialogue with your partner can ease this transition. Tell your partner your concerns in an open and caring manner so they can understand what you are feeling. You may want to give your partner suggestions about what feels comfortable to you. Your hormones take a nose-dive after birth, so you will need some reminders about what sex used to be.
Here are some tips for getting back into the swing of things:
Partners are not mind-readers, and while they may have witnessed you give birth, they may not understand the physiological process that takes place afterward. Don't shut your partner out or punish them for their feelings, especially if sex was a regular occurrence before baby.
Take it slow!
Don't feel pressured to get right back in the saddle. Start small, and the feeling will grow. Most couples don't start having sex until 2 months postpartum. Get the clear from your doctor and address any other issues that might be keeping you from getting intimate.
Don't wait to get your body back.
Many partners are turned on by a woman's pregnant form, and the same is true afterward. While you may not feel the least bit desirable, your husband can't wait to get his hands on you. If you are breastfeeding, your breasts have likely grown to tremendous proportions, and who doesn't love that?
You will return to your pre-pregnancy size in time, but don't let your voluptuous body hold you back from sex.
Those wonderful pregnancy hormones are depleted now and the result is vaginal dryness. Using lubrication will make things more enjoyable for both of you and avoid any painful interactions.
After the diapers, laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, and sustaining a life with your boobs around the clock....it's gonna take more than a look to get you in the mood. Tell your partner what will help get things started in the love department. It may be more help around the house, or scheduling Grandma to come take the baby for a walk so you can shower. Whatever makes you feel sexier, make time for it. Explore new areas of your home. Sex doesn't have to stay in the bedroom!
Making sex a priority, just like grocery shopping, can help you fit it in and also give you both something to look forward too. Spontaneous sex might be on hiatus for a while, but scheduled sex can be very sexy. You and your partner can give each other some helpful reminders over the week and let the tension build a little.
Keep in mind that sex comes in many forms. If you aren't ready for penetration, use this time to come up with some creative new bedroom endeavors that work for BOTH of you. Before long, you'll feel more comfortable to move to the next step.
Sex takes two (usually), and before long, you will find a rhythm that works.